Dead Inside

Here I am,
In the midst of my troubles,
Gathered here,
By my greatest fears.
My mind in shambles,
Not knowing what to do.
I'm Going crazy,
At the mere thought of you.
Is this how things should end,
Is this the last chapter?
How can I leave,
In the end feeling nothing but lonely.

I loved you,
Well I still do...
With all my heart,
But yet I'm left here confused.
I don't understand it,
Not even one lick of it.
But here I am,
I'm sitting in it.
For gods sake,
I'm living it...

I can't take it no more,
These feelings that I have.
They are driving me up the wall,
With no one but myself to blame.
Have I held on for too long,
Is this a lost cause.
Or is this an old court case,
Waiting to be resumed...

Can a person love more the one person,
Is that even humanly possible??
Shouldn't somone want to love one,
With all their might??
Why are there so many questions?
Why do we live this lie??
Why do people keep taunting us,
With past solutions that do nothing but hide??

How am I supposed to deal with this,
And still keep my sanity.
And you all wonder why I've gone mad,
Well it's all written here for you.
I'm screaming on the inside,
Crying on my exterior,
Yet you people do nothing,
But make my life a living hell.
You don't see my pain,
Or my greatest fears.
You don't see what I hide from,
Or hurts me deep within

What the hell is wrong with you,
Bigger question...
What the hell is wrong with me??
Why constantly make me miserable,
When you have your lives to fullfill.
Life passes you by,
When you sit there anticipating it.
Maybe I've anticipated too much,
Maybe I need to sit back and let life take me.

Maybe I shouldn't hold on,
Maybe I should let go...
For holding on is all that kills me.
My soul has been poored out,
And written on this paper.
My tears don't fall,
The crash in puddles.
My stomach is turned,
My head is frantic.
I can no longer see,
cause my eyes are clouded.

I'm so emotional,
I just don't know what to do.
But this is my life...
Poured out to you.
I hope my fans are happy.
I hope now you'll finally leave me be.
For my life is not yours to live,
Go find you bloody own.
I'm officially broken,
You all have given me enough blows.
Now leave me here to die inside,
In peace with out any more unwanted tolls...

~peace~

Stefane A. Hurtault